k2/Emerald/Coin-Operated Boy (sushigrade) wrote,
k2/Emerald/Coin-Operated Boy
sushigrade

There are rumors going around that Frank Miller has his eyes on making a Buck Rogers movie. I'm sorry, but I really do not see this as a terribly good idea considering what he's doing to The Spirit (a.k.a. Sin City 1 1/2). I mean, I liked Sin City and all, but the man is... how can I put this delicately... batshit insane, and pretty much obsessed with violence and the hypersexualization of women.

I imagine his Buck Rogers as going something like this:

AERIAL VIEW OF A FUTURISTIC CITY IN BLACK AND WHITE BUT MOSTLY GREY. IT IS RAINING, BECAUSE, COME ON, WHEN IS IT NOT EVER RAINING?

BUCK (voiceover): The future. The future is my whore.

SLOW ZOOM IN ON BUCK ROGERS, STANDING ON A ROOFTOP. EVERYONE ALWAYS STANDS ON ROOFTOPS.

BUCK (voiceover): The future is my mother and my whore all at the same time.

FAST ZOOM INTO A FULL BODY SHOT OF BUCK, BACKLIT AGAINST THE RAIN. HE IS A BLACK PROFILE EXCEPT FOR THE ANTENNA ON HIS HELMET, WHICH IS GLOWING RED.

BUCK (voiceover): There are some people who say I've got woman issues, but there's no law against fucking a whore. Who is also your mother. Not in the future. Not in *my* future.

CLOSE SHOT OF BUCK'S EYES AS HE SCANS THE STREETS BELOW.

BUCK (voiceover): And make no mistake, this is *my* future. But somewhere, there is crime. Crime against whores. Crime against mothers.

REVERSE SHOT, BUCK IN PROFILE AGAINST THE GRIM, GREY, GRITTY ALLEYS OF THE FUTURE.

Buck (voiceover): And I will fuck that crime. I mean those whores. I mean my mother. I MEAN, I will stop that crime. Why? Because I'm motherfucking Buck Rogers.

HE LEAPS DOWN TEN STORIES, LANDING IN A CROUCH AND CRACKING THE PAVEMENT AS HE LANDS. OH, WHOOPS, HE'D PROBABLY HAVE A JETPACK OR SOMETHING, WOULDN'T HE. OH WELL, NOT USING IT JUST MAKES HIM MORE BADASS.

Buck (voiceover): And this is my future. Did I mention that?

HE RUNS OFF TO FUCK A CRIME. I MEAN A WHORE. I MEAN STOP A CRIME. WITH HIS FISTS AND A FEW HUNDRED BULLETS. OR MAYBE LASERS, SINCE THIS IS THE FUTURE AND ALL. ...WAIT, LASER BULLETS. YEAH. I AM SO BADASS.
Tags: frank miller is batshit insane
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